I quit.

Yes, those are freezy pops on my face.  It was hot!!!

I quit.

I threw in the towel at mile 42 during Monday's 64-mile run to Grinnell.


It's hard to say, "I quit."

I don't think anyone enjoys it.

Maybe it's a pride thing, or a moment when you realize you might not be able to complete a certain task.  It's very humbling, and dare I say, healthy?

Leaving Iowa City en route to Grinnell at 3am

I wanted to complete the Iowa City to Grinnell stretch of running.  I was determined.  I planned well, and I made sure to get a lot of rest.

I thought it would be fun to say, "I ran 64-miles, in nasty humidity, pushing a 150 pound gear cart up a ton of hills... boo ya!!!"

But I can't.

When I'm unable to finish a run, I always have reasons, explanations or excuses of why I quit:

Yesterday's run for instance:

• Maybe it was the 100% humidity
• The 3am start time
• The summer heat
• The numerous rolling hills of Iowa
• Gravel Roads
• etc. etc. etc.

Gravel Roads

I got to mile 42, I was exhausted, so I just sat on the side of the road, in the middle of nowhere.  I was sitting, thinking, praying, and asking myself if I was okay with not completing the run.

I was okay with it.

When you've run 42 miles, you're exhausted, and you know you have 22 miles to go, your brain definitely encourages you to stop.

So I stopped.

Marty and Anet picked me up and gave me a ride to my host home in Grinnell.

Getting a ride to my host home

I quit.

I do have mixed emotions about Monday's performance:

• Could I have gone further?  
• Was it a mental thing?  
• Could I have worked through the fatigue and exhaustion?
• Am I a failure for not completing what I set out to do? 

I do know, I can't change yesterday's run or performance.  I do know, that one day I would like to finish this stretch.  It's tough, but I know I can do it.  As for now, I'm honestly okay with not finishing.  I'm okay with it, I know I gave what I was able to give.  I thank God for every moment on this journey I'm on, for allowing me to run, for allowing me to speak and inspire people.  I'm so very thankful, and I'm thankful for the people who daily encourage me as I run, even when "I quit."

When was a time when you were okay with saying, "I quit?"